Nerd Out: 8 Reasons Why Geeky Girls Make The Best Girlfriends

iDate European Dating Industry Conference Oct 14-16, 2015

Nerd Out: 8 Reasons Why Geeky Girls Make The Best Girlfriends
Anyone who's seen the movie “She's All That” or has watched the first season of “Freaks and Geeks” (and wondered why it got canceled) could tell you the benefits of dating a “nerdy” girl. Sure, these types of girls are different – they might be quirky …
Read more on Elite Daily (blog)

Shah Rukh Khan's famous controversies
The Marine Drive police has recorded Shah Rukh Khan's statement on the Wankhede Stadium brawl that happened after an IPL match in 2012, claims a report on Hindustantimes.com. According to a senior police officer, the statement was recorded at the …
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Tinder Hookups: The 10 Best — And Worst — Things To Say While Swiping
But, before you start swiping left or right, here's a guide to the best and worst things to say. Popular dating app Tinder is a great way to meet dateable men and women, but navigating what you should and shouldn't say can be tricky. Thankfully, we've …
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Relationship Tips: A Relationship Guide For Men & W

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Tinder representatives did not return messages. It is one of several dating sites in InterActiveCorp., the monolithic New York media conglomerate, which also owns Match.com, OKCupid and a heap of shallower dating pools, including GenXPeopleMeet.com, …
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Welcome to Mars Venus Info

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Men-Mars-Women-Venus-Cover.jpg

First edition
Author John Gray
Country United States
Language English
Publisher HarperCollins
Publication date
[citation needed]
Media type Hardcover
Pages 286

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus is a book written by an American author and relationship counselor John Gray. It has sold more than 50 million copies and according to CNN it was the “highest ranked work of non-fiction” of the 1990s[1] and spent 121 weeks on the bestseller list. The book and its central metaphor have become a part of popular culture and the foundation for the author’s subsequent books, recordings, seminars, theme vacations, one-man Broadway show, TV sitcom, workout videos, podcast, men’s and ladies’ apparel lines, fragrances, travel guides and his-and-hers salad dressings.

The book states that most of common relationship problems between men and women are a result of fundamental psychological differences between the genders, which the author exemplifies by means of its eponymousmetaphor: that men and women are from distinct planets—men from Mars and women from Venus—and that each gender is acclimated to its own planet’s society and customs, but not to those of the other. One example is men’s complaint that if they offer solutions to problems that women bring up in conversation, the women are not necessarily interested in solving those problems, but mainly want to talk about them. The book asserts that each gender can be understood in terms of distinct ways they respond to stress and stressful situations.

Content[edit]

Gray writes that men and women each monitor the amount of give and take in relationships, and if the balance shifts, with one person feeling they have given more than they have received, resentment can develop; that is a time when communication is very important in helping to bring the relationship back into balance. He further states that men and women view giving and receiving love differently, as regards the “tallying” of individual acts of love. According to Gray, women and men are often surprised to find that their partners “keep score” at all, or that their scoring methods are different.[citation needed]

He says women use a points system that few men are aware of, where each individual act of love gets one point, regardless of magnitude; men, on the other hand, assign small acts fewer points, with larger blocks of points (20, 30, 40 points, etc.) going to what they think are big ones. To a woman, the emotional stroke delivered by sincere attention is as important as the value of the act. That can lead to conflict, when the man thinks his work has earned him, say, 20 points and deserves corresponding recognition, while the woman has assigned him only 1 point and recognizes him accordingly. The man tends to think he can do one Big Thing for her (scoring 50 points) and not do much else, assuming the woman will be satisfied with that, and she will give him kudos. Instead, the woman would rather have many little things done for her on a regular basis, because women like to think their men are thinking of them and care for them more constantly. That approach adds up to the strokes men are looking for.

Another major idea put forth in Gray’s book regards the difference in the way the genders react to stress. Gray states that when men’s tolerance to stressful situations is exceeded, they withdraw temporarily, “retreating into their cave”, so to speak. Often, they literally retreat: for example, to the garage, or to go spend time with friends. In their “caves”, men (writes Gray) are not necessarily focussed on the problem at hand; the “time-out” lets them distance themselves from the problem and relax, allowing them to re-examine the problem later with a fresh perspective.

Gray holds that retreating into the cave has historically been hard for women to understand, because when they become unduly stressed, their natural reaction is to talk with someone close about it (even if talking doesn’t provide a solution to the problem at hand). That leads to a natural dynamic where the man retreats as the woman tries to grow closer, which becomes a major source of conflict between them.

The “wave” is a term Gray uses to describe a natural dynamic that is centered around a woman’s ability to give to other people. He writes that when she feels full of love and energy to give to others, her wave is stable. When she gives of herself, but doesn’t receive adequate love and attention in return, her wave becomes unbalanced, cresting and eventually crashing. Then, a woman needs the attention, listening, understanding, and reassurance of those around her—as well as self-love. Gray holds that once she is rejuvenated by getting the support she needs, her wave is able to build and rise once again, with abundant love and energy to give. Men, advises Gray, should support that natural cycle by not being threatened by it or telling her why she should not feel that way.

Film[edit]

In 2011, Summit Entertainment planned a live-action adaptation of the book. In January 2013, production of the film adaptation commenced, starring Reese Witherspoon.[citation needed]

Reception[edit]

The book has sold more than 7 million copies, and according to a 1997 report by the book’s publisher, HarperCollins, it is the all-time best-selling hardcover nonfiction book.[citation needed]

The book has become a “popular paradigm” for problems in relationships based on the different tendencies in each gender and has spawned infomercials, audiotapes and videotapes, weekend seminars, theme vacations, a one-man Broadway show, a TV sitcom, and a proposed movie topic with 20th Century Fox.[2][3][4] The book has recently been turned into a successful stage show in France, where it has been running for six years in Paris. There is currently an English version on tour of the U.K.[5]

The book has been criticized for placing human psychology into stereotypes.[6][7][8][9][10] In 2002, author Julia T. Wood published a critical response to the portrayal of the genders in Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.[11] In 2004 a Purdue Universitycommunications professor said that based on research she conducted using questionnaires and interviews, men and women are not so different and “books like John Gray’s Men are From Mars and Women are From Venus and Deborah Tannen’s You Just Don’t Understand tell men that being masculine means dismissing feelings and downplaying problems. That isn’t what most men do, and it isn’t good for either men or women.”[12]

Michael Kimmel, a professor of Sociology at Stony Brook University, further supports the assertion that men and women are not fundamentally different, contrary to what Gray suggests in his book. In Kimmel’s 2008 lecture at Middlebury College in Vermont, titledVenus, Mars, or Planet Earth? Women and Men in a New Millennium, Kimmel contends that the perceived differences between men and women are ultimately a social construction, and that socially and politically, men and women want the same things.[13]

A study by Bobbi Carothers and Harry Reis involving over 13,000 individuals[14] claims that men and women generally do not fall into different groups. “Thus, contrary to the assertions of pop psychology titles like Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, it is untrue that men and women think about their relationships in qualitatively different ways.”[15]

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. Jump up^ “Talk show hosts give books a boost”. CNN. March 3, 1999.
  2. Jump up^ Time magazine Tower of Psychobabble, Elizabeth Gleick, June 16, 1997, Retrieved July 2011
  3. Jump up^ The chronology of American literature: America’s literary achievements , By Daniel S. Burt, page 696, New England Publishing Associates 2004,
  4. Jump up^ NY Times, Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus Retrieved July 2011
  5. Jump up^ http://www.marsandvenustour.com/page2.htm
  6. Jump up^ Murphy, Lauren (February 14, 2002). “Mars and Venus at work; Critics aim to bring Gray back down to Earth”. Washington Times. Retrieved October 17, 2008.
  7. Jump up^ “Can’t Understand Your Mate? It’s Time To Align Your Planets”. Palm Beach Post. November 1, 1998. RetrievedOctober 17, 2008.
  8. Jump up^ “John Gray Fires Back at Critic Who Questioned His Credentials”. Inside Edition. November 20, 2003.
  9. Jump up^ “Writer’s Education from Mars”. New York Post. November 13, 2003.
  10. Jump up^ Premier Speakers web site

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EXCLUSIVE CLIP: Simon Pegg proves blind dates are awkward AF in new

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As Franz Oppenheimer and Herbert Spencer taught, the State is, in Spencer's words “begotten of aggression”: meaning born of war, conquest, and plunder. And as Randolph Bourne taught, war is virtually the very essence of the State, which, in the words …
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The opening featured President Obama, three former presidents (Bush, Bush, and Clinton), and a tape of President Ford each announcing that “our long national nightmare is over.” Then a roster of Letterman pals showed up to read the Top 10 list of …
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High School Relationship Advice – Relationship Advice From a Dating Diva

High School Relationship Advice – Relationship Advice From a Dating Diva

Are you in high school and in need of some high school relationship advice? When I was in there myself, I felt like life would never be more complicated than it was at that time. Classes, friends, family – nothing seemed to be simple. Doesn’t every secondary school kid feel that way? Add into the mix a complicated relationship drama, and things can seem to be spinning even more out of control! One of the worst things about high school relationship complications, when compared to later in life, is that the participants in them have little to no control over their major life choices. Moving away, whether they can see this person, whether they have the same circle of friends as the one they love – all of these decisions are controlled by the adults in their lives.

However, even though when you’re a kid you don’t have control of the major changes, you do have control of the small ones. Here are three rules of thumb to keep your High School relationship on track and humming.

Rule One – Communicate with your partner in an open and honest way. Without open and honest communication, the relationship is doomed to failure no matter what else you try.

Rule Two – Have expectations that are realistic. Soap operas are fiction, no woman or man is going to be perfect and romantic all the time in a real relationship – especially when they are just starting out in the relationship game and learning all the rules about dealing with the opposite sex. Be patient, and realize that in real life, the world is populated by real people – meaning, flawed people.

Rule Three – Don’t hang on too long. Know when it’s time to leave the relationship. A relationship, especially a teenage relationship, should not be more drama than it is fun. It’s not like you guys have three kids and mortgage. You can leave the relationship fairly cleanly. If it seems like you’re yelling or crying more than you’re laughing – get out of it!

Remember. Like all things in high school, relationships are primarily learning experiences.

Melanie Young is an author who has been writing articles about many and varied subjects for over ten years. She is interested in learning and teaching about all aspects of the world we live in. You can check out her latest website about boxer dog training at http://boxer-dog-training.com

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